Miguel

“Are you sure? Where am I supposed to stay then?” I heard Miguel ask, with a tinge of nervousness in his voice. As I held open the door of the shelter, the outside wind blew through both of our clothing and left us shivering. Despite it being extremely cold outside that night, my palms began to grow sweaty and the sound of my heart beating grew deafening in my ears. “All of our beds are taken, we are completely full,” I thought, “What am I supposed to do?”. As I was briefly hesitating, I could see the disappointment welling up in Miguel’s eyes, and my heart fell.

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Miguel had to be one of the most joyful young adults staying with us, even if he wasn’t one of the more social ones. Every night of the past few months, I would see him joking and laughing loudly with his two friends in Spanish, playing video games by the couches, or quietly supporting each other. Although his conversations with me and other staff members had always been quiet and short, seeing him come out of his shell and laugh freely with friends always made me smile. I realized that it was with his friends that he truly felt safe and heard. Even if the entire shelter was not yet a space he felt comfortable in, providing a space for him to find comfort with his own community was also important.

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So, when I looked at Miguel that night, I not only felt concern and urgency to help him find a place, but also a motivation to make sure he felt okay. Even though I did not know him as well as I would have liked, what I wanted most was for him to at least feel  safe, even if that couldn’t be with his friends. 

After a brief pause, I finally replied. “Miguel, all of our beds are taken tonight, but I will try my best to find another shelter in the area where you can stay, okay? As I told Miguel the truth of the situation, he slowly shook his head in understanding. I rushed downstairs to explain the situation to the other staff members.

Miguel didn't have a phone so I hurriedly started calling local shelter after local shelter in for the next few hours, hoping to find a place for him to stay. Due to the frigid temperatures that night, many of the shelters that I called were full and would recommend me to call elsewhere. As the night went on, I observed that Miguel knew a lot of inside information about the shelters that I was calling. He quietly mentioned that a few of the shelters I had found were not safe or had some issues, and gave me recommendations for other places to call. Every few calls, I continued to check on Miguel and update him on the situation throughout the night, but soon I could see that Miguel was getting discouraged. I also found myself beginning to doubt my own ability to help. After hearing several rejections, one of the shelters he had recommended finally got confirmation for him to stay the night in a shelter just outside of the city. When I told Miguel that we had found a safe place for him to stay, he finally released a big sigh of relief, before expressing his thanks and walking towards the subway. As I watched him take a turn around the block, I released a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. Although the entire night had been nerve-wracking, I was grateful that I had been able to work with Miguel to find a place that for him, would feel safe and comfortable.

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In this situation, I could not have helped Miguel by myself. No matter how much I had wanted to help, I did not have nearly as much knowledge about the different shelters nearby or how well they matched up with Miguel’s needs, and could have sent him into a dangerous situation. During this experience, I realized that continuing to engage in conversation with Miguel and involving him in the search for a shelter was essential to finding not just any solution, but the best solution for him that night. Serving someone well means centering their preferences and experiences because otherwise, you may run the risk of silencing their voice, undermining their autonomy, and/or diminishing their ability to make the best personal choice in the situation.